Alright,alright-I am gonna broach a subject few have dared to tread!
Alot of my prepper,survivalist friends stock up massive amounts of toilet paper.I have stumbled upon a corporate conspiracy that will wipe you away-heehee!!
We don't naturally need toilet paper.
In my humble-yeah right-not so humble opinion- The design of modern toilets causes constipation , hemmorhoids and the need for the multi wipe .
Let me give you an example -gross but true!
If you follow my blog you know I am going from fat to fit through eating very healthy,lots of lemon water and daily hikes.
Today I pumped up my exercise by adding a mile to my hike(I walk a nature trail 1/2 mile long- in and out a mile- so today I did that 3 times-plus added in trekking up a steep hill on a side trail on each of my trips out- so I did that 3 times. During this time I carry a small beginners pack w a few essentials-keys. dog watering bowl,water,luna bar and some napkins swiped at a restaurant .. and other things-flashlight,pocket knife,etc..
Well let's start by saying-I am a very regular gal-no issues in the bathroom- but today I learned something rather amazing! Started off as a real stressor and potential embarrassment for sure-ended well!!
Because of the heat ,my long walk and my full of fiber diet- I was struck with the-Oh Holy Hell I am gonna crap my pants syndrome (what do soldiers and Appalachian trail hikers do when out all day anyhoo??) I was forced beyond my control to take a dump in the woods .
I was frantically trying to figure out-can I make it home- 10 minutes- can I walk back to the port a john-10 minutes.. it was fill the pants or go native...
So I ducked off trail into the woods-fortunately there was alot of brush near the trail-then a few trees-then a thicket then a massive old tree...
Having grown up on a homestead I know how to tinkle in the woods - a girl has to pull her pants to her ankles,spread feet as wide as possible,as you squat you pull the pants and undies up and in front as far as possible-holding that w one hand and bracing on the tree w the other hand till you have a nice strong tripod effect - (ya know-2 legs and a tree ) get your rump as far down to the ground as you can so as to not get pee on your shoes- and when taking a massive woods dump- well you avoid splatterage-lol... ewww!
Alright so here is the cool part of my really gross story- after I went and let me tell ya- 5 seconds or less is all it took. I checked it-had to -curiousity- and I had passed as much waste as a cow-but not that cow plop watery mess-this was nice and healthy but soft-good healthy poo!.. OK I am a healer and that is a GREAT indicator of health and digestion!
I had a napkin so was able to wipe-and nothing on the paper- I covered my doo w alot of leaves and dirt and walked back out on the trail- I was only off trail maybe a minute or less...
I thought- well it is kinda hard to wipe well in that position when I get home I will clean up really well- when I got home to clean up- there were no tread marks in the undies and absolutely no poo on the paper-
So I had experienced the PERFECT NO WIPE DUMP!! I thought that was only a thing of myths and legends!!
And so then after rehydrating and thoroughly washing my hands- I am writing to tell this story... lol...
My theory is- we evolved squatting to poo- when we do this the natural way-our bottoms are nice and clean - the walking of course exercises the muscles of the abdomen- squatting would also naturally push down on the bowels and push it along- quicke,easy ,painless,wipeless.
As I set up my homestead I am gonna take this into account - we will no doubt have a traditional outhouse but set up a way to put the feet up higher to mimick the woodsy poo model...or maybe I will just have me a little woodsy poo area just for me to be Mrs Nature gone wild...lol...
So anyhoo- there is some good news for healthy poos- over and out!!
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